'Near the beginning of the semester he invited all dozen or so of us accelerated students to his house for refreshments and a little "welcome to chemistry" speech, followed by a lengthy hi-fi rendition of recorded whale sounds. Judging from the perplexity on my classmates' faces, this was a brilliant pedagogical intervention, sending the message, "You are completely out of your depth." You don't know shit and you probably never will.' -Barbara Ehrenreich, Living with a Wild God

My 23AndMe Results

by Ethan Glover, Wed, Sep 20, 2017 - (Edited) Sat, Nov 25, 2017


My maternal genetic migration line traces from Haplogroup L, to L3, to N, to R, to H, and finally to H1.

Paternal genetic migration; A, F-M89, K-M9, R-M207, R-M343, to R-P311.

I have 245 Neanderthal genetic variants. Less than 86% of 23andMe customers. Only my height may be influenced by one Neaderthal variant.


I'm predisposed to weigh 176lbs at 27 years-old and 5'10". I currently maintain 160lbs.

My weight/BMI is not likely to change with a diet high in saturated fats. However, high consumption of saturated fats is associated with increased LDL cholesterol, which is a risk factor for heart disease. My current consumption of saturated fats is less than 15g. It is recommended to keep consumption under 22g.

I have a higher composition of fast-twitch muscle fibers. This predisposes me towards sprinting and strength rather than distance and endurance.


Likely to drink slightly less caffeine than average based on how my body handles it. I drink more than average (300mg) which is under the healthy limit of 400mg.

Likely lactose intolerant. My regular consumption of yogurt disagrees. Chances of developing intolerance increases with age. However, in adulthood, that likelihood drops.

There is a 75% likelihood that I can smell the asparagus metabolite in my urine. A 56% likelihood that I can detect bitter tastes. A 62% chance that I prefer a salty taste over sweet.

I'm unlikely to flush after drinking alcohol. I'm not likely to be a deep sleeper. Likely to move more than average in my sleep.

Likely to have or no back hair. Likely to have no bald spot, no dimples, no cleft chin, no hair loss, no photic sneeze reflex, no red hair, no unibrow, no window's peak. Likely to have detached earlobes, wet earwax, darker eyes, a longer ring finger (than index), little freckling, straight or wavy hair, dark hair, lots of hair as a baby, and a big tow longer than the second toe.

Health Issues:

rs2066844(T;T) gives me a 35x higher risk for Crohn's disease which makes it the most significant health risk found. (As well as many factors that point to obesity.) 23AndMe did not report on this disease. Instead, the information was provided by CodeGen. CodeGen is free to use, all you have to do is connect your 23AndMe account to allow it access to your data. FoundMyFitness suggests that a diet low in fiber can increase the risk of Crohn's.

One of two genetic variants for Hereditary Hemochromatosis (HFE), a condition defined by excessive intestinal absorption of dietary iron. This can cause damage to organs such as the liver, skin, heart, and pancreas. One genetic variant means a very low likelihood of developing HFE, but can be passed down.

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